Free Lunch: Olive Garden

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Wow. Olive Garden twice in one week. What are the odds considering that before this week, the last time I had eaten there was least four years ago? Anyway, here it is. Yeesh, that's a bad photo. Eh, camera phone quality for you.

I went with the half plate of salad, which seems to work well. I was pretty hungry today, and got both a piece of ravioli and chicken. Normally I would have only taken one, and skipped the breadstick. Near the fork were a few roasted potatoes and peppers.

Like I said, I was feeling hungry today, and I've been feeling hungrier than usual lately. Mostly I think this is due to the fact that I've been consuming calories on the low end of the scale and it just caught up with me. That plate looked so good and appetizing, but once I started eating I became disgusted. Aside from the salad and the ravioli, the rest just tasted awful. It's not important what what wrong with it, but it was reminded of my pre-LRP relationship with food.

Even if I was just the slightest bit hungry, I would obsess over food like I was on the brink of starvation. It consumed my thoughts until I consumed something, anything. The craving would go away, but not the feeling I had, deep down. I still get that craving from time to time, but it's not as bad as what it used to be. What that feeling I'm trying to fix with food is, I still don't know.

I'm still feeling a bit discouraged about the lack of visual results of my weight loss. And I've been slipping a bit. I'm not gorging on doughnuts or chocolate or anything bad, but I've thought about it. I've been snacking on crackers instead of fruit or veggies, and my meal portions have been bigger. Afterwards, my stomach has that full, bloated feeling. And I don't like it.

I recently read the writing of an interesting person who said marriage is a series of peaks and valleys. Why stop there? Live itself is a journey of ups and downs, and this is just part of it. Just because I feel a little down about what's going on isn't an excuse to give up. I've made a commitment to improving my life. It's time to stop screwing around and get my shit together.